words of angels

I´ll try honesty first, and in "english" because it´s easier for me to express some hidden things in a different language than criollo. Let´s imagine that I´m not who I know I am, that I´m a different person, with a different name, a different "everything". Let´s imagine my name is Pepita.
Pepita feels that now that she is finishing the cuatrimestre, it will be hard for her to focus in her new desires. She will have to organize her time in a differente way. She will have to put to work her new desires. First of all, she will have to study and prepare a tema for the final test of Psicoterapias. She is angry because the yegua that corrected her test was unfair and strict bitch. But she knows that she can pass that exam. She will prepare it for november 30.
She is also brotada, with a rush in her skin and a lot of caspa. She knows this can be because of the things she does not percibe and express, I think her problema is feelings and emotions. She does not know how to handle some things, especially things related to the intimacy of her emotions and needs for love. But this is a very secret of her. Know one knows exactly, because she doesn´t know exactly. She always felt that she should adapt to the needs of others, so she made very wrong choices in her love life. Last week she realised that the last drop of water colmated the glass. She didn´t cry over, but she drown herself within. She encapsulated again her heart, and got angry, and got frustraded and disapointed. And also she got a rush in her soft skin. Some people say that skin is related to contacto with the semejante. And she agrees.
She also received some advices of wise people that sorrounds her. She loves wise people, because she is able to recognize wisdom in people. And she always had an ear for wise words, and an eye for wise actions. Those advices told her that because of the way that she is, her nature, she needs that the person she chooses to be her soulmate (because of her nature, love and relationships are very important) were a goodhearted person. Because when she involves in a relationship she puts everything of her in a very deeply way, and a fracaso in this area means a fracaso in her life. So she can fell again if she chooses wrong, and she can´t afford that, because she needs to develop her potential and this is the momento. She can´t afford to loose this opportunity, so she is thinking that maybe she should give up hope in this area until she can achieve her fully potential by herself. She knows that she is not the kind of persona that can have relationships without compromiso. It´s not in her nature. She would like to be that way, and independent and free persona, but she tryed free relations, and she realised that she can´t pay that cost, because her heart needs true love, not stupid ilussions, but good intentions. So until she doesn´t meet that special person for her, she doesn´t want to loose time tryings things that don´t work out well for her. She knows that for her is difficult to open, with that she has a beautiful inner world that she would like to share with someone who can appreciate it. And lately no one could. And for that she was hurt. Thou she never loose faith, she needs to be more careful. And she needs time alone to realise who she is, what she wants, what she needs, to create, to grow, lo learn and to expand her horizons, to dream and to make those dreams come true. Now is not the time for others. Now she has to use her energies for herself. She has a lot of work to do, and she has the strength to do it and also the direction of propósitos. She had asked the angels and they have given her these words: Faith and Acceptance, Game and Humor, Pleasure and Delight. And she trusts them.
She has been thinking, as usual, and she realised that no one promessed nada, but although she thought she could act like a man and she was cancherita about it, she couldn´t handle it well. She also realised that this state of needyness is not real. It has appeared now that she has to take care of her again, now that the cuatrimestre finished, now that the workshops she was involved in are finishing, she has to take care of looking for a new job, to have her own money and to do lots of things she has been posposing for that matter. She knows that people is attracted to people that have their own life, their own interests, because thats is what she finds attractive as well. (She had tried the other way arround and does not work at all). And she truly wants to be one of those desirefull people. So she knows that the victim role is not for her anymore. When she chooses to play those adventures, she really wanted to, she also has urges for instinct needs, but she can hold those instincts for a while. As Fiona sayd, "Hunger hurts, but starving works when it costs to much to love".