sábado, 22 de diciembre de 2007

reflexions in the mirror window

It´s easy to play victim´s role in the lovers game. Easy but useless. It´s hurts to be rejected. Ego hurts. Rejection takes you where you don´t want to go. But it happens. You can be in one side or the other, it will happen both. At different times you will experience both sides, and at that point you will understand how the other felt in your shoes. Rejection hurts of course, it´s not your choice, and everybody wants to be loved by everybody. But it´s not possible. In some cases it´s a relief. May be you were expecting that to happen but you did not have the courage. In other cases, the deceptions hurts because you did not want that to happen. But which is the point of staying with someone that did not love you back? It will be just a whimp. Sometimes choices are somewhat in a hurry. You did not know how to handle that situation, and you take the easiest choice, that it´s to end it quickly. But it´s not over till it´s over. You could try to hurry things, but if they are not finished, they will come back. Again, and again, till it´s over.
Where am I going? easy to play victim role...in lover game. The victim feels good, I mean, feels like shit, but feels in the good side, the one that is abandoned, not loved, left. The other one, the one that end it, it´s the one that have to play the hardest role. The one that is hated. The one that ends it. So to play this role you have to have the courage to be hated. But in time, time will prove you right. It´s somewhat of a sacrifice. Profets are known and understood after their are dead. Death reach them first, then recognition, when it´s too late, they´re in the grave with worms and everything, maybe in bones, nude. But they are remembered by their actions in life, by they words that are coherent with their actions. I´m not trying to equalize profets to the hardest role to play in lovers game, but it helped the example.
The decition is understood by both parties. They know that although one of them putted into words what did not work out anymore, both recognize it´s the best to be done. In the best of the cases both agreed. Maturity is the key. In many cases they do not agree easily, because ego is hurted. The ego that feels rejected, the ego that does not want to be badly considered. But it´s ego in both cases. Sometimes the way to not end something it´s to keep feelings of anger towards the other. So through anger you keep attached to that person that is not at your side anymore. Anger will become the link between both. Because, love is not anymore a link. It could be anger, but it could be another feeling that drags you in, and does not help you to understand reality as it is in present time. Past feelings. They are old feelings, may be feelings that wake up in that relationship, but you felt it for the first time long ago, maybe after you were born, and you were a child. So old feelings towards present objects, like a loved one in a resent relationship. So when you understand that the people you meet, show you different aspects of yourself, you start taking it slow. And you start to recognize the people that it´s better for you, and the people that makes you feel wrongly about yourself. When you understand what you have to learn, then those relationships change, maybe you keep them near to you, maybe you say goodbye, and prefer to keep memories of those in your heart. But not the real presence. So in the end we are alone. We come to this word alone, and we leave this world alone. We live through life with those memories, that make up the whole picture, your identity. But when you die, your memory will be erased. Or not. Maybe when you feel that you meet someone that it´s feels that you know them from another life, that could be a sign, that some of those memories are not totally erased. But you can not prove that. It´s just a sense of knowing, and intuition. And it´s better to keep it that way, because you have to learn that most of the things in this life do not have a rational explanation, does not have answers, they are mainly questions that you tend to find an accurate answer, according to your experience in this life. Like the way relationships are, for example. There are no answers, you have to make your own and then to forget and forgive in order to leave this world in peace.

1 comentario:

Anónimo dijo...

UF! CUANTO TENGO PARA LEER!! COMO ME ENCANTA QUE ESCRIBA!! Voy a tener que ir a aprender inglés TIA!!! porque esto no es fácil para mi, pero quiero leer!! :D

sólo le compartiré que algo que leí, me hizo recordar a un poema que no decía mi padre y nosotros le pedíamos que nos repita y repita siempre!! Porque nos causaba gracia.. y era así...

Aquí yace Estefanía, flaca y aguda mujer
que bien pudo aguja ser
pues solo un ojo tenía.
Flaca, esqueleto de alambre,
en torno a sus huesos vanos
yacen también los gusanos
que se murieron de hambre.

Morvo? no? jajaj